Sunday, January 22, 2012

Parents a role model for their children I Laiq Ahmed Atif

“The mother’s lap is the first school for every child”. And in fact, it is the woman as mother who is the moulder of the moral values of her child. It is considered that the child’s first knowledge of moral values and behaviour patterns is learnt from his mother, and as a child is fully dependant on mother and sees the way she acts, thus the love, care, education and responsibilities she teaches her child and the values modes that are incorporated within the family form the personality and character of the child.

However, the role of a father in upbringing of a child is not less important than mother. And for the better future of a child the role of both parents is highly essential and important and both the parents should set positive and valuable examples for their children.

Every parent wants their children to be successful people, to be outstanding people in society, to have a good job and a better life. And it is also true that almost all children, regardless of their age, pick parents as their number one role model. So see, how important is it for the parents to lead by examples and become a real role model for their children.

Research has found that the best adjusted children, particularly in terms of social competence, have parents with an authoritative, moderate parenting style. These parents are able to balance clearly stated, high demands with emotional responsiveness and respect for their child's autonomy. And children with disturbed and troubled family life are more likely to involve in crimes and drugs and they do not have the capabilities to compete and contribute positively in society.

This reminds me of a joke which clearly shows that how parents set examples to their children and how children learn and form themselves while seeing their parents. It is not only a joke but also a very sad and painful reality which may make some people laugh yet move some others to tears. However, the aim is to show that parent’s attitude has a great influence on their children.

Once a child observed with much pain and unease the ill-treatment of his grandfather at the hands of his father and that left a great impact on him. The grandfather was gradually transferred from a well-provided and comfortable main bedroom to a smaller and less convenient accommodation until it was finally decided to remove the grandfather to the servant's quarters. During an exceptionally severe winter, the grandfather complained of his room being too chilly and his quilt being too thin to make him feel warm and comfortable. The father started looking for an extra blanket from a stock of old, useless rags and finally found him an old and mended blanket.

This left a great impact on child’s memory and he also started storing old things in a bag. One day his father saw him and asked the reason why he is storing these old cloths and mended blankets etc in a bag?

The child replied that a few days ago you gave similar old and mended blanket to your old and retired father when he was in need. So, I thought that I should also store some old items so can also provide you from these old cloths etc when you will be in need at your old and retired age.

This innocent expression of a child shows clearly that parents set examples for their children. So, for a great generation, parents must set positive and the best possible examples.

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